The Royal Remix
by Synnerxx
Summary: "Where words fail, music speaks." Hans Christian Anderson. Various points in Evan's life mapped out in music.
1. setlist i

**Pairing: Hank/Evan (implied, unrequited, and requited.)**

**Warnings: Slash, incest (implied, and not so implied)**

**Spoilers: General ones for both seasons**

**Author's Notes: I got the idea for this from the music/fic meme I did earlier last month with Will/Jack from Will & Grace called Mix Tape. I adapted it a bit and made it my own. Basically, I just kept repeating the song until I was done and focused more on one line of the song instead of the whole song. Dedicated to _missflapjack_, hopefully this is happier, bb. :D? Also this will be updated whenever I get inspiration for it. Songs will be done ten to a chapter/part/whatever. They don't necessarily connect and most of the time they won't, but I'll tell you if they do. Review, please!  
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**Thank God I'm Pretty-Emilie Autumn**

_I'm truly privileged to look this good without clothes on _

Evan makes jokes about his looks, pretends to think more of himself than he really does. Truth is, sometimes he really wishes he didn't look as good as he does. Everyone thinks he's just a pretty face and a nice ass to grab and slap. No one thinks he's intelligent. After all, all the smart ones are plain looking. He's handsome, so he must be stupid.

If someone wants him, they expect him to be more than willing to drop to his knees and bend over for them, no matter if he wants to or not. It's expected of him and he fucking hates it. He's not a slut, contrary to whatever Hank thinks. He's been taken advantage of too many times because it's easier than fighting and no one believes he doesn't want it because he's pretty, so he must be easy.

Really, thank god he's pretty.

**Breathe-Nickelback**

_All I ever really wanted was to be like you, so perfect, so worthless_

He couldn't help wanting be like them. The women that Hank went after. First Nikki, then Jill. They were perfect in his eyes, regardless of their flaws. In Evan's eyes, they were worthless. Not as people, no, just as people that his brother wanted. It was stupid of him to feel this way, it was his brother after all and it wasn't like he could ever mean anything more to Hank than just family and it killed him.

All he wanted was Hank to see him for him and love him like Evan loved him. He knew Hank would never see him like that.

He wanted to be perfect and worthless, just for Hank, so Hank would love him.

**Outside-Staind**

_It's for you and I taste what I could never have_

Evan knows how Hank feels about him, knows that Hank loves him just as much as Evan loves him. The feelings are the same, but the difference is that Hank is willing to go to any length to deny them, whereas Evan is quite happy to tell Hank how he feels.

Their first and only kiss had shocked Evan, in a good way, of course. He had told Hank how he felt, fully expecting to be punched in the face for it when Hank had grabbed his hips and hauled him forward, pressing their lips together fiercely, completely catching Evan off guard.

When Hank broke the kiss, he wrapped his arms around Evan and told him that that was the last time that they were ever going to do something like that. It wasn't right and Hank wasn't going to do it, no matter how he felt.

Evan knew that on the inside Hank was just as ugly as he was.

**Fans-Kings Of Leon**

_Make me feel like I'm the one who moves you, the only one you see_

Evan could make Hank feel like he was the only person in the entire universe when he turned those bright blue eyes on him and smiled. Hank knew that smile was only for him, that he was the only one who ever got to see it.

Hank loved the way that smile tasted on his tongue as their lips moved against each other and he took pleasure in knowing that he was the one that moved Evan like this. Sure, he wasn't the only one, but he was the only one that Evan could see.

The only one that mattered.

**In Perfect Harmony-Within Temptation**

_He was the only human being who lived in harmony, in perfect harmony_

They were so in sync with each other most of the time that it felt wrong to be arguing over something like this. An argument that neither would win because both were to stubborn to see things from the other's point of view. It wasn't right that they weren't on the same wave length, weren't in agreement over this.

The scary part, to Evan at least, he had no idea what Hank would think about this subject which was scary in and of itself, was that this could be the one thing that had the power to split them up for good. They might never get past this and the rift between them would just grow and grow until there was a chasm the size of the Grand Canyon between them.

Evan really didn't want that to happen, but he also kind of resented the fact that Hank thought he knew what was best for him (which most of the time, he did). He wanted his father in his life at the very least, if he couldn't convince Hank to give him a chance too and Hank wasn't going to stop that, no matter what he thought.

**Killing Loneliness-H.I.M.**

_With the venomous kiss you gave me, I'm killing loneliness_

Neither of them had ever been particularly good at keeping girlfriends, so when Hank told him he was engaged, he was surprised and shocked, to be honest. Of course he was happy for Hank, but he couldn't help not liking Nikki. She was a bitch and she kept coming between them. Hank couldn't see it because he truly believed he was in love at the time, but Evan knew what she was doing. She had never liked him and wanted Hank to have nothing to do with him.

She made Hank blow off plans he had made with Evan for her, even though she knew they had made the plans way in advance for that reason. So Evan wouldn't interfere in their own plans, but she still whined and pouted at Hank and got her way because Hank had no backbone when it came to her and couldn't say no to her.

He apparently had no problem saying to no to Evan though and did so whenever Bitch snapped her fingers. All that was in the past now. Now they were in The Hamptons and everything was going great. Hank had a second chance at doing what he did best and Evan had his second chance at having his brother back, not only in his life, but also in his arms as he finally, finally realised that the only way to kill loneliness was with Hank.

**True Love Way-Kings Of Leon**

_Sharing a smile, so far from home_

Okay, so The Hamptons weren't all that far from home, not for them, but it felt like a completely different world than the city. Which, Evan supposed, was the point and why people came there to escape the city. There was a sense of community about the place that there wasn't in the city. Everyone took an interest in everyone, especially when you didn't want them to, but they genuinely cared for one another.

City people didn't. To them, you were one more brick in the wall, one more crack in the sidewalk to step on. Here there was a feeling of belonging that just didn't exist in the city. Not that Evan didn't love the city because he did, but The Hamptons felt like home in a way that the city hadn't in a long time and he was glad to be able to share with Hank. There was no one else he'd rather be here with.

**Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol**

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world_

Sometimes real life and the real world were not places Evan wanted to be and wanted to deal with. It was all so overwhelming sometimes. He just wanted the occasional break and sit back and let the world pass him by for a few minutes. That's all he asked for. Just for a little while, could the world just ignore him and let him forget that he needed to deal with all his responsibilities for a short time and relax?

Even better, could he have Hank stay with him as they watched life go on without them for a bit. Just a little while. He'd give Hank back soon, he promised. He just needed a little time to simply exist and breathe for a while without having anyone rely on him, depend on him, need him.

He just wanted to forget the world and escape for a little while with Hank and have his brother all to himself in their own little fantasy world. They'd go back soon enough, they just needed a little time to themselves.

**The Best Thing-Savage Garden**

_You're so close, where do you end, where do I begin_

Evan loved these moments, early in the morning, before they have to get up for the day, tangled up with Hank. The quiet, even breathing soothing him, making him drowsy. They're so wrapped up with each other Evan has a hard time telling where he ends and Hank begins

He doesn't ever want to the comfort and safety of Hank's arms. Here, he can pretend that the world won't hate them if they knew just how close they really were, he can pretend that Hank belongs to him alone, instead of everyone else. It's the only place he wanted to be.

He would do anything and give anything for his brother. Whatever he could to see him smile, laugh, and make him happy. He was never like that with anyone else. He just hoped Hank knew exactly how much he meant to him.

He hoped Hank knew that he was the best thing about him.

**Paparazzi-Lady GaGa**

_Chase you down until you love me_

Evan had always known in some part of his mind that the only person he could ever really love was Hank. At first, he had just assumed it was some kind of hero worship after their father left and their mother had gotten steadily sicker. It was loneliness and heartache that made him crawl into his brother's bed because Hank was the only one that could keep the nightmares at bay.

When they got older and everything went to hell and back for Hank in the city, Evan dragged him to The Hamptons. He tried to tell himself that he just wanted to reconnect with his brother, but he knew the truth. He was hoping Hank would love him the same way Evan did. Sure, there was almost no chance of that happening, especially after Hank met Jill, but Evan was nothing if not stubborn, so he wasn't going to give up.

He'd chase Hank all around the world and back if he would just love him.


	2. setlist ii

**Pairing: Hank/Evan, mentions of other pairings**

**Warnings: Slash, incest, mentions of het**

**Spoilers: General ones for both seasons**

**Author's Notes: Another set list brought to you from my iPod. Review, loves.**

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**How To Save A Life-The Fray**

_As he begins to raise his voice, you lower yours and grant him one last choice_

They're standing in front of each other in a fancy hotel suit and they're angry. Hank is more than angry, he feels betrayed and he's blaming Evan because it's all his fault anyway. He wonders why he even came to find him. It wasn't worth it, but somehow Hank had always thought that given the choice between choosing Hank and picking their useless, worthless father, Evan would make the right decision.

Apparently Hank had been too hopeful because he walks out alone and even more angry than when he showed up. If Evan wanted to be stupid and trust Eddie R Lawson, fine let him. Hank wasn't going to stick around and pick up the pieces again as Eddie would surely shatter Evan again. Hank knew he was lying to himself because if Eddie did hurt Evan, Hank would be there in an instant, picking his brother up and dusting him off. He was too angry to admit that right now.

Evan had the sinking suspicion that he had made the wrong choice when he didn't leave with Hank. He knew somewhere deep in his heart that Eddie probably wasn't coming back, at least not today. Evan refused to believe that he wasn't coming back at all. He'd be back. In the meantime, Evan needed to make things right with Hank because he was pretty sure his brother kinda sorta maybe hated him at the moment. He really hoped not.

**Sally's Song-Amy Lee***

_And does he notice my feelings for him?_

It really isn't easy being in love with your older brother. Besides the obvious reasons of incest and society, it's hard as hell to hide it from him especially when he knows you better than you do. It's really not fair. Not at all. It's even harder when you're living under the same roof as him and you're practically attached at the hip. Not that that's a bad thing, it just makes it so much harder to hide, to pretend that you feel nothing other than brotherly love.

It's not even like Evan wants to hide it, he wants to tell Hank, but he's afraid of losing the only family he has left. He doesn't want Hank to hate him. So he'll hide it and hope that one day Hank doesn't manage to pry it out of him though he knows it's inevitable because he can't hide anything for long from Hank. He's not that good.

**Somewhere-Within Temptation**

_Never stop hoping, need to know where you are_

Hank had a pretty good idea of where Evan was, but that still didn't stop the panic from rising in his chest, burning hotter than any case of heartburn he'd ever had. When he had come home to the empty guest house, he'd been furious. Evan had left without telling him where he was going even after he had dropped that bombshell on Hank about their being broke. He couldn't believe Evan would be so stupid.

Then he had found that note, scrawled on the back of Evan's business card. 'Gone to see Eddie R'. Hank felt like strangling his brother all over again. How could Evan trust their father again after all that had happened? Why would he even want to see that bastard again? He called Evan's cell phone and it went straight to voice mail, the panic hit. He hid it beneath his anger, but it wasn't like Evan not to have his phone on.

There was only one thing he could do. He had to find Evan, hopefully before Evan found Eddie and bring him home.

**You Picked Me-A Fine Frenzy**

_Just another pretty piece, I was difficult to see, but you picked me_

It always amazes Evan that Hank picked him out everyone he could have had. Nikki (well, he can't really say that Hank picked him over her because she left, but whatever), Jill (who is really pretty and while she was annoying to him while trying to date Hank, she's pretty awesome just as a friend now) and even Carmen (though that would have never worked out anyway with her living and Cuba and all).

He knows that Hank could have made it work with any of those women and any other girl in The Hamptons, but Hank wanted him, loved him, needed him. There was even that super model chick from when they had first arrived that showed up at the hotel looking for Hank. He couldn't remember her name, just a sense of jealousy that she read as her being there for her brother instead of him, but the fact was that she was there for Hank at all and that's what made him jealous.

None of that mattered now. He had Hank all to himself and would always have Hank. That's all he really needed.

**Clown-Switchblade Symphony**

_You're still up in the air and loving your wings_

Everything was going so well for them that Evan almost wondered when it was all going to go wrong. When would he star in his usual role as the screw up brother and mess everything up for Hank. He was trying his best not to ruin this for his brother, but his best was never good enough. His best was still nothing compared to Hank on his worst day. It had always pissed off Evan a little that everyone wrote him off as the black sheep and fawned over his brother as their golden child. That was something that never truly went away, even as adults, Evan just got better at hiding it.

He knew it would all come to a screeching halt and it would all be his fault, he just didn't know how or when. He never voiced these worries to Hank because Hank would just laugh and say that Evan could never ruin this for him. Even if Hank thought he could, he would never say so to Evan.

Evan just hoped that Hank wouldn't hate him when they fell down and their world crashed with them.

**Show Me How To Live-Audioslave**

_Is this a cure or is this a disease_

Evan isn't one for over thinking things. If it feels right and good, well that's all he really cares about. Hank, on the other hand, can't help but to wonder in the dark of the night with his little brother curled around him in bed, sated and happy, what the hell they think they're doing. Society thinks it's sick and wrong, their love. They don't understand how happy Evan makes him. They don't understand how much Evan needs him. They don't want to understand. They fear and hate what they do not understand.

Hank wonders if anything good could possibly come from this. Besides his own feelings and Evan's. He knows they can't keep it a secret forever and he suspects that Boris already knows, but doesn't say anything because Hank is damn good doctor and is the one that's made the most progress so far. He doesn't care what the brothers do on their own time, so long as it doesn't affect Hank's performance as his doctor.

Well, nothing's going to get answered tonight and why worry about something that hasn't even happened yet?

**Tears Of Pearls-Savage Garden**

_Your kisses are like pearls, so different and so rare_

Evan liked Hank's kisses. (Well, obviously he did or he wouldn't spend most of the time they had by themselves trying to steal one.) There was nothing in the world like them. Just the simple brush of his brother's lips against his skin could make him happy for the rest of the day. No one else that Evan had kissed ever had the same affect on him and he had kissed a lot of people. Not that he was a slut or anything, oh no.

He thought it was because none of those other people meant as much to him as Hank did. Hank could be the worst kisser in the world and Evan was sure that he would treasure ever one just because they were from Hank. (Good thing his brother wasn't the worst. He was almost as good as Evan himself was.) Evan was sure it was the kisser and not the kiss itself that made it special, but he'd think about that later.

For now, there were kisses to steal and hide away from the world.

**Before The Dawn-Evanescence**

_Somehow I know we can't wake again from this dream, it's not real, but it's ours_

Night was their time. The only time they had to fully express their love and devotion to each other. The land of dreams and sleep was theirs. It belonged to them because the waking world would surely destroy them if they knew how they really felt for the other. Sometimes they entertained fantasies of running away to a world where no one knew them and they could leave happily ever after. Those fantasies were chased away with the rising sun.

But until light crept into the shadows and cast the darkness away, they had their time together that was precious to them. Soft touches, adoring looks, gentle confessions of love wove their way through the night air. They wanted nothing more than to have each night last forever and never have to leave the comfort and love of each other's arms, but the light spilled over their world and forced them to face the day, leaving memories of the night behind.

Maybe one night, they would fly so far away they'd be lost before the dawn.

**What If-SafetySuit**

_What if what I want makes you sad at me_

Hank stares at him with eyes so full of anger and pain and sadness and disappointment that it takes all of Evan's willpower not to jump up from the couch and follow his brother back to The Hamptons. He has to see this through though. He has to believe that their father will come through on this, just once. He doesn't want to admit to Hank that he was wrong and he was stupid because he still has some dignity left. Not much, but enough to prevent him from leaving with Hank.

He knows it's a shitty thing to do, letting his brother walk away from him while still waiting on their father to return even though he's been gone for a really long time now. He hates seeing that look of betrayal cross Hank's face and knowing that it's directed at him, knowing that he is essentially choosing their father whom neither of them have heard from in twenty years, the same one that took all their money over Hank who's always taken care of him, been the mother, father, brother, and best friend whenever Evan needed him.

Evan needs this though, needs to see if Eddie will come back because if he doesn't, well at least Evan will finally have the closure he's wanted for the past twenty years. He just wishes Hank could see it that way.

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***From the _Nightmare Before Christmas_ soundtrack _Nightmare Revisited_. **


	3. setlist iii

**Pairings: Hank/Evan, mentions of past Hank/Nikki and Hank/Jill, mentions of Evan/various women**

**Warnings: Slash, incest, mentions of het, angst**

**Author's Notes: Another update! Didn't think I would get the chance to write much, but I really was in the mood tonight. If anyone wants me to expand on any of these drabbles, just let me know and I'll be happy to! There's ten this time too. There was nine the other chapter because Synner can't count. Enjoy and review, loves.**

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**Crack The Shutters-Snow Patrol**

_I could sit for hours finding new ways to be awed each minute_

Sometimes all Hank wants to do is watch Evan. Well, said like that it sounds kind of creepy, but Hank doesn't care. If Evan cares, he never says anything about it. Hank suspects that he likes the attention anyway. That's fine, Hank is content to watch as long as Evan will let him and even if he won't, Hank will find ways to do it.

It really doesn't matter what Evan is doing either. Working on spreadsheets, paying bills, writing checks, eating, sleeping, whatever. It doesn't matter so long as Hank can watch him. He really likes to watch as Evan talks to future clients. He likes knowing that Evan is excited about what they do together. He smiles at the wild hand gestures, the broad grin stretched across Evan's face.

His favorite time to watch Evan, however, is when they're in bed together, the sun barely creeping into their bedroom window. Evan's still asleep, the sun glowing on his face and chest. Hank watches the steady rise and fall of his chest and is sure there's nothing more beautiful than Evan.

**Insatiable-Darren Hayes**

_And nobody knows you like I do 'cause the world, they don't understand that I grow stronger in your hands_

Most of the time, Evan was irritated by how well Hank knew him. His brother knew everything he thought about, everything he did, every movement he made and it was annoying. Sometimes, though not very often, Evan appreciated having someone around that understood him so well. He didn't have to explain his needs, his wants, what he needed and wanted from Hank in any circumstance.

The rest of the world didn't have to understand him as long as he had Hank. He was the only one that needed to understand him so completely. Sometimes the world didn't matter, just them and their understanding of each other. That was all that mattered to them, even if the world didn't understand them, well that was okay.

They always had each other.

**21 Guns-Green Day**

_Your faith walks on broken glass and the hangover doesn't pass, nothing's ever built to last, you're in ruins_

He had ruined everything. There was no denying that, Hank didn't trust him anymore, if he ever had. He had screwed up so bad this time. He wasn't sure how he could fix this. Well, he knew what he had to do to fix HankMed and the money problem; that was the easy part. The hard part was figuring out how he could earn Hank's trust back. He was sure it was going to take a lot more than just getting back the money.

After all, he had done the unthinkable in Hank's eyes. He had contacted Eddie R and, not only that, he had let their father walk away with all their money for a second time. If he were Hank, he didn't think he would even forgive himself for that.

It was a very good thing that Hank was a better person than he was.

**Beauty Of The Beast-Nightwish**

_All this beauty is killing me_

It was no surprise that Evan seemed to fit in better in The Hamptons than Hank did. No surprise that Evan seemed way more comfortable hanging out and casually chatting with some of the richest people of the world. He was always better at adapting himself to any situation than Hank was.

His motto was 'If you really don't belong, fake it until you do.' Yeah, it was shallow and made him seem insecure, but it worked, didn't it? Got him everywhere he wanted to be. The thing about that though is that it's exhausting having to pretend to be someone you're not just to get what you want out of people.

It was slowly killing him in a sense. Killing his self-worth, pride, and self-confidence. Things he was finding he had to fake more and more these days when he didn't used to have to. It was much harder to fit in in The Hamptons than all his other previous places in Brooklyn.

Well, he always liked a challenge.

**I'd Come For You-Nickelback**

_I can't believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground_

It never occurred to Hank that Evan would ever say something like that to him. The fight hadn't even started out as a fight at first, their usual banter slowly turning into digs at each other that went deeper and deeper. The last thing that Evan had said was "This relationship isn't worth it and I don't know why I thought it would be."

Sure, the apologies had come later on that day and the night had been spent showing Hank just how sorry Evan was and how much Hank meant to him, but the words still echoed around his head. He knew that it had been said in a moment of anger and that Evan really didn't mean it, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

It just wasn't like Evan to say something like that. He was the one who had pushed for the relationship in the first place, even when Hank hadn't wanted to risk it. Maybe he was right. Maybe this really wasn't worth it.

He couldn't ever say something like that to Evan though. He had promised never to hurt his brother and he had broken that promise enough times in the past and he didn't want to break it any more.

**Pistol Of Fire-Kings Of Leon**

_Higher, where did you want to take me?_

Hank had been wary of going to The Hamptons. Actually, at first he hadn't wanted to go at all. He had been depressed, watching bills pile up, his booze supply dwindle, and his misery grow. His misery did not love company as he found out when Evan came over, babbling about this awesome party that he had an "in" to, whatever that meant.

Now he is glad that Evan had brought him out here. It gave him the chance to start over again, to be happy again. He owed it all to Evan too, which was surprising, considering how he had treated his brother while he had been engaged and then again when he had gotten fired. He hadn't been the world's greatest brother, but now their relationship was healed and all was well.

He finally found somewhere that felt like home for the both of them.

**Understanding-Evanescence**

_Hold and speak to me of love without a sound_

Evan's favorite times were when he and Hank laid in bed together, the silence surrounding them, and Hank gently traced his fingertips over every inch of bared skin on Evan that he could reach. To Evan, the random designs and patterns that crossed over his flesh always felt like Hank was telling a story without words. He was telling Evan their story, how well they fit together, how nothing would ever part them, how they had a happy ending.

Hank told him how many ways he loved him without a word spoken or a sound uttered.

**A Thousand Words-Savage Garden**

_I see the truth inside your eyes_

Hank can deny he doesn't feel the same way I do all he wants, but I know he's lying. I see the truth in every regretful glance he shoots me when he thinks I'm not paying attention, every jealous look I get when I flirt with some chick. I know he feels the same as I do, the only think I don't know is why he wants to deny it. There's no chance of rejection from me because he knows how I feel.

It could be what others might think, but Hank's never been one to care about what other people think about him. Though he might about something like this. Can't have all of The Hamptons hating us, can we? Bad for business, you know. I think he's afraid of giving his heart away again.

Call me corny, but you know what happened with Nikki and with Jill. Neither ended well. I think he's afraid and I don't know what I can do to show him that it's okay when he won't even give me the chance to.

Just one more thing I have to work on, I suppose.

**Faces Like Mine-Emilie Autumn**

_You're only free when you have nothing left_

Evan felt free. Free of secret he had hid from Hank for so long. It felt refreshing to be able to tell his brother his darkest thoughts, his deepest secret. A weight was lifted from his shoulders and he had nothing left to hide. Hank knew the worst about him and there was nothing left to tell. He had told his brother that he was in love with him and Hank didn't hate him.

That was a relief. He had been so afraid that he would lose his brother, but he hadn't and now he was free of all the secrecy and lies and having to hide things from Hank and it was so liberating. He wishes he had told Hank sooner and avoided all of the hurt and agonizing over his own feelings.

He is free now that he's let everything go.

**The Dance-Within Temptation**

_In this heart of mine, it's you I find_

Hank had had many failed relationships. Some more hurtful than others. Some more meaningful than others. Some simply didn't work out and some just weren't what he was looking for. There was no one that had ever really been what he was looking for because he didn't know what he was looking for. Nikki had come close though. Jill even closer. In the end, both failed, for different reasons, but the point was that they didn't last.

There was one person with whom he has a relationship with that he's pretty certain that's going to last. Evan. Yes, Evan is his little brother, and yes, he's aware that most people consider this "sick" and "wrong", but they don't matter to him. The only one that matters is Evan.

Evan is who he's been looking for all along.


	4. setlist iv porcelain and the tramps

**Pairing: Hank/Evan**

**Warnings: Slash, incest, implied sex, implied oral sex**

**Spoilers: General ones for seasons one and two**

**Author's Notes: I'm changing things up a bit now. Instead of ten random songs, I'll do my ten favorite songs from one artist/band per chapter. (Eleven in this chapter because that's all Porcelain And The Tramps have and they're all awesome.) Review, loves.**

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**My Leftovers-Porcelain And The Tramps**

_Oh, I don't hold my breath and I don't hold my tongue_

Evan is known for saying whatever is on his mind at any given moment. It's like there's no filter between his brain and his tongue. It gets him in trouble a lot, mostly with Divya. He doesn't take crap from anyone (except Hank and sometimes Divya) and he doesn't sit around waiting for things to happen to him. He goes out and makes them happen.

Hank envies him that freedom. The need to never really watch what he says or does with others and maybe it's not freedom so much as the fact that Evan simply doesn't care what others think about him. Sure, he wants to be liked and he wants to be popular, but when it comes right down to it, he's not going to sacrifice who he is as a person to get there.

Hank, no matter how much he claims he doesn't care what others think of him, does care. He doesn't want to and he does a good job of hiding it, but he cares. Sometimes a little too much.

**I'm Your Favorite Drug-Porcelain And The Tramps**

_You want it from me on both knees, but not until you beg me please_

"Stop teasing me, Evan!" Hank snapped, panting, fingers tangled in Evan's hair.

Evan grinned wickedly up at him, his tongue darting out and wetting his lips. "Say please."

Hank watched the movement of his tongue and nearly missed what he said. "What? Just stop being such a tease."

Evan leaned back away from Hank as far as he could with Hank's hands in his hair. "That's not very nice, just demanding stuff of me. You need to say please if you want me to do something for you, Henry."

Hank glared down at him, hating the way he was being teased and being told to say please, but he really wanted release, so he swallowed his pride. "Please."

Evan smirked. "Please what, Henry? I can't read your mind."

Hank tightened his grip in Evan's hair, making him wince slightly. "Please just suck me already!"

"Oh, well all you had to do was ask nicely and since you did, I'll indulge you." Evan went to work on his brother.

Hank had been about to say something about Evan having a smart mouth when Evan began to use said mouth for something that was much more pleasurable than talking and Hank lost the ability to even think coherently.

Maybe saying please wasn't so bad.

**You Want-Porcelain And The Tramps**

_What you lost, I found and now I'm not giving it back_

Evan didn't understand why Hank went for the women that didn't understand him at all and didn't even seem interested in understanding him. He tried to talk about this with Hank, but he was only met with a blank stare and a subject change from his brother. He supposes that he should be thankful to those women.

They lost Hank and he was the one who found him and now he's not giving Hank back to them. They didn't deserve him then and they certainly don't now. Hank meant more to him than anyone in the world and who understood him better than his little brother? No one as far as Evan was concerned and he would do anything to protect his brother and make sure he was happy.

Even if that meant he had to share him with people like Jill and Dr. Emily Peck. Jill, he didn't mind, she kind of understood Hank and definitely wanted to, but Emily? Evan knew she was just using Hank and he could only hope that Hank realised that before he got hurt.

**Sugar Cube-Porcelain And The Tramps**

_Tension on the ground and the place shut down_

The tension crackles between them, creating sparks every time they touched or their eyes met. Neither could concentrate on anything except each other. It got to the point where Evan threw down his pen and stormed upstairs, mumbling under his breath about never getting anything done with Hank around.

Hank looked up from Boris' file and watched him go. A few minutes later, he carefully put the documents back in the green folder and followed his brother upstairs.

They had to work out all this tension or there was no way anything would ever get done around HankMed.

**Transparent-Porcelain And The Tramps**

_So I'll toy with you, so try not to be caught because my teeth are sharp and my temper's high_

It was a strange game they played, the normal rules of this type of game didn't apply and half the time, Evan didn't even know the rules. It wasn't like they sat down and discussed this thing they were doing. Words couldn't even begin to cover the situation. All that was left were touches and gasps and moans.

It was a dangerous game they played and they couldn't afford to get caught because that would mean the end of everything they ever worked for, but more importantly, it would mean the end of them and that wasn't something they were willing to give up. They would just not get caught.

**I Feel Perfect-Porcelain And The Tramps**

_The palm of my hand's where I hold the key_

Hank's always in control. He's always calm, cool, and collected. Almost nothing can break his composure, especially when he's in front of patients or out in public. However, Evan likes knowing he is one of the few people that can make Hank lose that clean, polished quality he has.

He loves knowing he can drive Hank crazy, make him get dirty and debauched. He can get him hot and frustrated, hands gripping too tight, mouth demanding and fierce against Evan's. Evan holds the key to Hank and he's not about to give it up.

**King Of The World-Porcelain And The Tramps**

_I'll show you what it means for me to control you_

Hank knew it wasn't right of him to control Evan like this. Keeping him dependent on himself, so he wouldn't lose him. He knew it was selfish and cruel when he deemed Evan no longer necessary to him and his so called perfect life, he pushed him away, letting the adoration from Evan slowly twist into mutual dislike. Then everything went to hell and Evan reached out and pulled him back from the depths and now they were rebuilding their relationship and Hank found himself missing it when Evan was more dependent on him.

He set about trying to change that and it scared him how easy it was. How willing Evan was to please him in any fashion. It scared Hank to see what he'd done to his little brother. Sure, Evan still had his breezy, laid back attitude, but he was so eager to fix their relationship and forgive Hank, though he didn't even seem to know what Hank had done to him.

So this was what it was like to control someone? Hank almost regretted it. Almost.

**Fuck Like A Star-Porcelain And The Tramps**

_Everybody wants a piece, but only you're invited_

Everyone in The Hamptons wanted Hank. Everyone had to have the latest craze and best that came with it. Right now, that was concierge doctors and Hank. Evan watched in equal parts pleasure and dismay. Pleasure because Hank was happy doing what he did best, being a doctor and healing people. Dismay because he had to share his brother with everyone everywhere. Every time he managed to get Hank to sit down and not have some patients' file in his hand and just hang out with him, five minutes later, his phone would go off and he would have to leave. Sometimes Evan went with him, but it wasn't the same and the moment was ruined anyway.

Even if all these people wanted, loved and adored Hank, Evan knew there was only one person that Hank wanted, loved and adored. Him. He was the one that Hank came home to, the reason Hank was here in the first place, the reason Hank was happy right now. So even if he had to share Hank with all these people, it was really only Hank's time he was sharing, not his heart.

**Gasoline-Porcelain And The Tramps**

_Cross me once and you'll see it's like a match in gasoline_

When Evan was angry, he was fire, sparks, and heat. He raged and flared, but burned out rather quickly. Yeah, he had a short fuse, but it didn't take much to put him out either. Mostly, he was smoke and no real flames.

Hank, on the other hand, was ice. He was cold, freezing, sharp and biting. He built up to it slowly, soaking it up, letting it harden, darken and become a part of it. To thaw him, to melt him was a long process. You had to chip away at his anger, hardly even making a scratch most times.

Together though, Hank could douse Evan's flames and Evan could melt Hank's ice like no one else in the world could. Together they became two parts of a whole and completed each other, perfectly complementing the other.

**Red Light District-Porcelain And The Tramps**

_I know you want to give it up, give it up, give it up_

Hank resisted Evan as long as he could, but Evan knew he really wanted to give into to him and let Evan win. He tried to hold on to his morals, but Evan happily tossed them all out the window and told Hank to just give in to his dark side. He wanted to feel Hank's hands drifting over his body, Hank's lips crushed against his, he just wanted to feel Hank.

He knew Hank wanted the same things and so set about making Hank give into him. He pressed every single button Hank had and finally, after weeks of teasing touches and sultry, come hither looks, Hank slammed him against the wall and kissed him as if his life depended on it.

Satisfied that he had made Hank give it up, he sank into the kiss and then led the way upstairs and closed the bedroom door.

**Preyingmantis-Porcelain And The Tramps**

_I don't think I am who you want me to be_

Evan knows Hank looks at him as the one he always has to save and bail out of trouble and, more recently, the person who almost ruined the good thing they had going here in The Hamptons. The person who nearly ruined HankMed and lost all their money.

Evan knows he's made mistakes and that his brother gets sick of always being the one to fix those mistakes. He's tired of making them and having to run to Hank and let Hank fix everything when it should be Evan who fixes his own mistakes.

Evan knows that Hank thinks he's a screw-up, the black sheep and he'll never live up to Hank's expectations and it hurts to know that he's not who Hank wants him to be and he's sure that he'll never be that person.

He'll always be a mistake.


End file.
